How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
