I heard we made out
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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