so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
