do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
