i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just gift wrapped bread.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
