then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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