Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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