I am puke
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
