Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
