If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
