I can text with my tongue
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
