Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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