Nicole vs. Life
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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