A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
