It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
