Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize