i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
