Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
