so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
