Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
