I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
