I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
