I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
