watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize