She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Are my feet made of real feet?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
