you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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