i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize