There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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