Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
