Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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