fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
