I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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