I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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