All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
