So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
