Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You're a waste of cheezeits
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
