You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
