I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
