I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Randomize
