Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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