there's paper in my vomit.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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