He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
