Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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