Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
