Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize