I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
