She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
