Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
