just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
