she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize