Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
