I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
