We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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