we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
