i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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