I want to have your abortion
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize