I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
