look no pants
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize