If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
