Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
