capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My vagina just clenched in fear
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
