It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
